By Barry Flup Legendary Sales Manager of ABC FX Kenny Willis has been sensationally fired in his first week back at the’ sales furnace’ with some insiders labeling Willis’ sales career being ‘(Banana) brown bread’.
Willis, who colorfully outlines his ABC FX achievements on his Linkedin profile as ‘a ball busting over achiever’, decided to teach himself how to bake on lockdown.
An insider claimed that. ‘After Kenny brought into the lockdown staple lockdown lifestyle of becoming a new baking bore. He created endless amounts of lemon drizzle cake which was seen as the final straw for the big wigs in their ivory towers’.
David Luncheon-Meat, the lawyer acting for ABC FX at the upcoming employment tribunal commented ‘Kenny drove the sales chariot for ABC FX with absolute distinction. However, he would have lost all his machismo credibility with his peers. How could he act like the ‘Mr Big Bollocks’ placard he had on his desk, with cake crumbs around the sides of his mouth.’
Kenny who affectionately made his peers address him as ‘an absolute f*cking legend’ could according to Luncheon-Meat have acted as a catalyst for mass firings, families on the streets, possibly even the end of days.
It is thought that the two strikes earned for Willis’s home prison patisserie, the ABC FX head honchos were said to act in unison giving the ‘no way hombre’ and were not willing to risk a cake based collapse anytime soon.
Willis who is famed for over reaching his KPI’s by 12% in 3 consecutive quarters, or what came to be known as ‘the glorious 12’ was unavailable for comment.
The case continues.
