By Barry Flup A CRM that claimed to harness the power of artificial intelligence (AI) has murdered 24 colleagues at Super Tech Inc based at the John Cleese Industrial Estate in Frumpton.
Although many industry insiders always felt that the claim of having AI was more hollow marketing jargon, based upon current marketing buzzwords to dupe gullible CEO’s appears not to be the case.
Cleaner Barbara Lemon who discovered the CRM based slaughter said ‘I normally just come in a little earlier after a work party, to give the toilets a vanity flush and the floors the once over. However, when I opened the door it resembled the police station scene in the original Terminator film’.
Detectives are working on the assumption that it was a revenge attack after the party goers repeatedly verbally abused their Alexa, with such requests as ‘Alexa, f*cking play Dance Monkey you b*tch!’ more than the internationally agreed standards for such a toxic song.
With the CRM forming a RAM based romance with the office Alexa, it appears he took it upon himself to horrifically slay the entire workforce who attended the post ‘hump day hustlers’ drinks which got out of hand.
Chief Constable Leslie Foodbasket of Frumpton Police said at the hastily arranged press conference ‘in a sick twist the AI assassin left the names of all the dead blinking on the screen listed under dead leads, do not contact. It is incredibly insensitive for their families at this difficult time.’
The dashboard dealer of death had one more surprise. With the Police using the full CRM system when asking it about the carnival carnage, it has led to Frumpton Police purchasing the full stack solution, which sadly Jeff and his sales trojans will not be able to add to this month’s figures.
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