By Barry Flup Casual Friday is turning into casual May, as ample waisted workers are returning to ABCFX from lockdown. Employees found that their pre lockdown work attire no longer fitted after long lockdown lunches, leading to an obese workforce.
Colin Beanbag, Head of Excel spreadsheets at ABCFX, said ‘I thought the lockdown would give me a chance to work on the new me. Well there is a new bit to me, my large belly due to lack of movement, and excess alcohol consumption has led me to getting fat.’
Many commentators have labeled this the ‘Covid 19 pounds’, as many sedentary people have expanded their waistlines and their knowledge of both banana and sourdough bread making in the 10 weeks of seclusion.
John Bagpipe, the presenter of ‘Wacky Wall Street Week’ the ABCFX popular YouTube channel, which takes a sideways look at the financial market said ‘not only are waistlines rocketing, so are stocks in man Spanx. I wanted to work on learning yoga during the break, but only managed to work on having last night's curry for breakfast on a daily basis.’ chuckled the tubby market funster.
A spokesman for ABCFX said that their office based social distancing practices had to be redrawn, after basing their calculations on the size of employees pre lockdown. The average space of the larger employee’s would take up, now break the two metre spacing required by Frumpton County Council Health and Safety Department.
